趣味英语：不算太坏

概要：Not too Bad"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?""No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."不算太坏“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”When a Tiger comesTwo guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do yo

Not too Bad
"Did you sell any of your paintings at the art show?"
"No, but I am encouraged," he replied. "Somebody stole one."
不算太坏
“你的画在美术展上有卖出去吗？”
“没有，但我还是受到了鼓励，”他回答说，“有人偷走了一幅。”

When a Tiger comes
Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them.
One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?"
His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."
老虎来了
　　两个男人正在穿过丛林，突然，一只老虎出现在远处，向他们冲来。
　　当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋，开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说，“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗？”
　　他的朋友回答道：“我不用跑得过它，我只要跑得比你快就行了。”

I am a Busy Man
One day a bunch of naughty children wanted to make fun of him and said to him:" There are birds' eggs on that tree. Won't you get them for us please? We can't climb up."
Loath to disappoint the children, he was ready to climb the tree. But knowing that the mischievous youngsters would make off with his boots if he left them on the ground, he tied them to his waist-band before he started the climb.
"We'll take care of your boots for you!" the children chorused.
"No, thank you!" was he reply. "I am a busy man. And as soon as I've got the eggs for you, I'll make my way home along the tree-tops."
我是个忙人
　　有一天，一群顽皮的孩子想捉弄他，便对他说：“那树上有鸟蛋，请你替我们拿下来好吗？我们爬不上去。”他不想使孩子们失望，便准备爬上树去。但是他知道如果把靴子留在地上，这群顽皮的小鬼一定会把靴子拿走，于是他先把靴子系在腰带上，然后开始爬树。
　　孩子们齐声说：“我们会替你保管好你的靴子的。”
　　他回答道：“谢谢你们，不必了。我是个忙人。替你们取到蛋后，我就要沿着树顶走回家的。”

Sunset
Father: This is the sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know.
Friend: Ah, that accounts for it! I never saw a sunset like that in this country.
日落
父亲：这幅《日落》是我女儿画的，你知道，她曾在国外学过画画。
朋友：啊，怪不得！我在本国还从来没有见过这样的日落。 www.99youjiao.com

Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly----take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧！

Rope or Ox?
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."
"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!"
"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope."
绳子还是公牛？
　　在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。”
　　“但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊！”
　　“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧？”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

Six or Twelve?
A blonde went into a pizza parlor. When she said that she‘d like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she‘d like to have it cut into: six or twelve. “Oh, goodness, six please,” said the blonde. “I don‘t think I could ever eat twelve.”
六还是十二？
　　一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店，她说想要一个中比萨，店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。“噢，天啊，请帮我切成六块。”女郎说，“我可不认为我可以吃得下十二块。”

Clean Glass
Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.
"Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you?" the man behind the bar asked.
Joe looked at Fred and said, "Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?"
"Yes, that's all right." Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, "And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that."
The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. "Which of you asked for the clean glass?"
干净的杯子
　　乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。天气很暖和，到处都有许多灰尘。12点半的时候，他们觉得非常口渴，便停下来去吃午饭了。他们找到最近的一家酒吧，走进去坐下吃他们的三文治。
　　“下午好，先生。你们想要点什么？”柜台后面的伺应问道。
　　乔看了看佛瑞德说：“我想，啤酒吧。对了，每人一品脱啤酒。这样可以吗，佛瑞德？”
　　“好的，可以。”佛瑞德说。然后他转过去跟柜台后面的伺应说：“我要啤酒装在一个干净的杯子里！别忘了。”
　　柜台后面的伺应倒满杯子后，拿给乔和佛瑞德，接着说：“刚才哪一位要干净的杯子的？” www.99youjiao.com

I Could Do It Slower
Patient: What do you charge for pulling a tooth?
Dentist: Fifty dollars.
Patient: Fifty dollars for a couple of minutes' work?
Dentist: Well, I could do it slower, if you like.
我可以干得慢一些
病人：拔一颗牙收费多少？
牙医：50美元。
病人：只几分钟的活儿就要50美元？
牙医：好的，如果你喜欢的话，我可以干得慢一些。

Are They Worn Out?
"No," growled the quartermaster, "you can't have a new pair of shoes. The pair you have aren't worn out."
"Not worn out," cried the recruit, " Why, if I step on a dime I can feel if it's head or tails."
还没穿破？
“不行，”军需官大声说：“你不能领一双新鞋子，你穿着的那双还没有穿破。”
“没穿破，”新兵叫道：“为什么？如果我踩到一个一角硬币，我可以知道踩着的那面是公还是字。”

Is He Dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, "The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life."
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. "Sure," came the reply, "but he only gave me ten."
他就要死了吗？
　　一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：“刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。”
　　他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。“当然，”男人回答说：“但是他只给了我十片。”

A Silly Father
Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, "Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face." Hearing that, Mr. White became very  angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said," You beat my son and I dare to beat yours."

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